The Hidden Toll of Transforming Education: A Journey Toward Radical Possibility

Introduction: A Radical Vision for Schools

In the pursuit of creating schools that truly serve all students, educators of color often carry the weight of systemic change. One such educator, a Voices of Change fellow, takes us through her journey of bringing radical possibility into the classroom—and the personal cost that came with it. Her story begins with a quote that resonated deeply: "Quit school if you want to save your own life", words from musician Olu Dara to his son, rapper Nas. This statement, shocking to many, captures the harsh realities Black youth face in education. It’s not a dismissal of learning but a bold assertion of survival in a system that often undervalues Black humanity.

The Voices of Change Fellowship

As a Voices of Change fellow, the author sought to reimagine the classroom as a space of freedom and possibility. Over the course of her fellowship, she published four essays:

• First essay: Explored the power of Black literature in fostering freedom-dreaming.
• Second essay: Highlighted radical Black joy as an emancipatory force.
• Third essay: Addressed discriminatory school policies targeting natural Black hairstyles.
• Fourth essay: Shared her experience as a DEI director at a preK-8 Catholic Montessori school in Cincinnati, outlining the school’s strategic plan for equity.

These writings were not just academic exercises—they were deeply personal, rooted in her own educational lineage and the struggles of her ancestors.

Examining Educational Lineage

Before writing, the author reflected on her family’s history with education. Why did her father leave school before graduating? What pushed her mother out? What was the quality of education for her grandparents and great-grandparents? These questions echoed the same survival instinct expressed in the Dara quote: maybe for them, quitting school was saving their own lives. This inheritance of resilience and pain shaped her commitment to change, but also set the stage for exhaustion.

She describes climbing through the "tacks and splinters" of multiple presidencies that mocked non-white, non-heteronormative, non-male identities. She endured the grief of losing every elder in her immediate lineage, and navigated the dark of a global pandemic that exposed violent systems against Black and Brown communities. Yet she kept climbing—until she couldn’t.

The Cost of Radical Possibility

There is a price to be paid for bringing radical possibility to life, especially for Black women in education and leadership. The author writes, "All too often, Black women in education and leadership ignore the signs of burnout until it is too late." She is part of this community: she coaches these women, and she is one of them. One morning, she woke up to a harsh reality: she hadn’t taken a full week off work in three years. She felt a deep misalignment between her efforts and the systems designed to resist her. She mourned, felt unfulfilled, and wished she could remain asleep.

Despite awards and celebrations for her accomplishments, she was and is tired. The price of radical possibility was her mental health—and nearly her life.

Realizing Burnout: A Wake-Up Call

Burnout among educators of color is a silent epidemic. The author’s story mirrors countless others who sacrifice themselves for the mission of equity. The pressure to transform schools from within, while facing resistance at every turn, leads to exhaustion. As she notes, the very systems she aimed to change were pushing back, and the emotional labor was immense.

Her reflections echo Nas’s own words: "I didn’t care about America." This sentiment of disillusionment with a country that demands so much from those it marginalizes is a common thread. Yet, the author’s journey is not a call to give up, but a call to recognize the hidden costs and to prioritize self-preservation.

Lessons for Educators

For those committed to radical change in education, the author’s experience offers crucial insights:

1. Acknowledge the personal toll: Burnout is not a weakness but a sign of system failure.
2. Build community: Connect with others who share the journey, like the author’s coaching network.
3. Rest as resistance: Taking time off is not a luxury but a necessity to sustain the work.
4. Balance vision with self-care: Radical possibility requires a healthy foundation.

Conclusion: Redefining Strength

The author’s story is a powerful reminder that the work of transforming schools cannot be done at the expense of one’s own life. As she continues her role at the Catholic Montessori school, she carries the wisdom of her lineage and the lessons of her burnout. The path to radical possibility must include space for healing, reflection, and rest—because saving others requires saving oneself first.